Inner Compass: Week Three
Week Three - Allies and Guidance
"This week, spend some time each day outside—even if its only for a few minutes. Greet and thank the four directions and the four elements: air, fire, water, earth, and the fifth, spirit. As you pause in each direction, ask: “How can the air be my ally? How can the fire be my ally?” etc. continuing with water, earth and spirit. (In the Reclaiming tradition, east corresponds to air, south to fire, west to water and north to earth, with spirit in the center.)
There’s a magical teaching that we are surrounded by helpers, ancestors, and spirit beings who want to aid us, but that they can’t until they are asked. So part of this week’s work is to ask for help. I know that can be a hard thing for some of us to do. Asking for help means, first of all, being vulnerable, admitting a need, acknowledging that we are not completely self-sufficient. It also makes us vulnerable because we might ask, and not get what we ask for. But do it anyway. This week, ask someone in your life for help. You might ask for support around what the material in this class brings up for you. Or you might ask for something else entirely. Remember to ground and use your anchor.
Marshall Rosenberg, who writes about and teaches what he calls ‘nonviolent communication’, has some useful insights about asking for help. He makes a clear distinction between a request, and a demand. A request is something a person can say ‘no’ to, without incurring a huge emotional penalty. A demand is something you can’t refuse without paying a big price, in guilt or in consequences. If I say to my partner, “Honey, would you get me a cup of tea,” he can do it or not. If I say, “If you really loved me, you’d get me a cup of tea,” then he can’t say ‘no’ without admitting he doesn’t love me. If I say, “I would like to ask people in this meeting to listen to each other respectfully,” that’s a request. If I say, “Anyone who really cares about this organization and who actually wants to save the world will stop interrupting,” that’s a demand.
So, when you ask for help, make it a request. Take some time and try out a few versions, if necessary, to be sure. And notice, through the week, when you are requesting and when you are demanding, and the feeling/body state of each."
"This week, spend some time each day outside—even if its only for a few minutes. Greet and thank the four directions and the four elements: air, fire, water, earth, and the fifth, spirit. As you pause in each direction, ask: “How can the air be my ally? How can the fire be my ally?” etc. continuing with water, earth and spirit. (In the Reclaiming tradition, east corresponds to air, south to fire, west to water and north to earth, with spirit in the center.)
There’s a magical teaching that we are surrounded by helpers, ancestors, and spirit beings who want to aid us, but that they can’t until they are asked. So part of this week’s work is to ask for help. I know that can be a hard thing for some of us to do. Asking for help means, first of all, being vulnerable, admitting a need, acknowledging that we are not completely self-sufficient. It also makes us vulnerable because we might ask, and not get what we ask for. But do it anyway. This week, ask someone in your life for help. You might ask for support around what the material in this class brings up for you. Or you might ask for something else entirely. Remember to ground and use your anchor.
Marshall Rosenberg, who writes about and teaches what he calls ‘nonviolent communication’, has some useful insights about asking for help. He makes a clear distinction between a request, and a demand. A request is something a person can say ‘no’ to, without incurring a huge emotional penalty. A demand is something you can’t refuse without paying a big price, in guilt or in consequences. If I say to my partner, “Honey, would you get me a cup of tea,” he can do it or not. If I say, “If you really loved me, you’d get me a cup of tea,” then he can’t say ‘no’ without admitting he doesn’t love me. If I say, “I would like to ask people in this meeting to listen to each other respectfully,” that’s a request. If I say, “Anyone who really cares about this organization and who actually wants to save the world will stop interrupting,” that’s a demand.
So, when you ask for help, make it a request. Take some time and try out a few versions, if necessary, to be sure. And notice, through the week, when you are requesting and when you are demanding, and the feeling/body state of each."
Morgaine - 15. Feb, 20:45
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